Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

I had a dog that was so lazy, he had a prerecorded bark.

A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"

I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done.

Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured.

Comedically, unpleasantness is great fun.

Everything is ironic to me. There are moments I find hysterical, but I'm probably the only one who would find that, except for a few people.

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens.

I don't think it's a contradiction to find painfulness funny.

You can parody almost anything.

With Ricky Gervais, it's all shades of wrong, it's my kind of humor.

I like a person who knows how to say something dark at a very dark moment. The darker the moment and the darker the comic, the better. Something that is so wrong on all levels.

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

I quite like dark humor.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

As you know it is a comedy so everything is a little bit pushed. That's what's funny about this kind of movie is you can laugh about the absurdity, and the bad side of life.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.