David Brenner Quotes

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I spent a lot of time between bars like this.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

I don't go to pubs.

I'm just getting to know the local pubs. I do enjoy going out in east London.

I don't have any interest in going out to clubs. I love people, and I love socializing, I just don't have any interest in being drunk.

I didn't go to bars much. One drunken asshole was all I could handle and that was me. I wrote. I don't remember a lot of it.

Let us settle down to the serious business of getting drunk.

I don't go to bars and stuff like I used to, but I live each day to make something.

This is the way I look when I'm sober. That's enough to make a person drink, wouldn't you say?

I never liked the bar scene. I tried to like it. I would give it a try every three or four months. I'd think, tonight I'm going out. But I never met anybody in that circumstance.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

Let me just say, I've seen a pub or two.

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I don't like discotheques, pubs, or late-night parties.

If you're not drinkin', then you're not playin'

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.

I believe - to the best of my recollection, anyway - that I soon made the classic error of moving from margaritas to actual shots of straight tequila. It does make it easier to meet new people.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

If you go out for a drink, you go out for a drink. You don't think, 'I'll have a few pints. I'll piss up this shrine.'

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.