Will Rogers Quotes

I just wish that he had just one time run for dog catcher.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

There is nothing wrong with a political joke as long as it doesn't get elected.

Mo [Congressman Morris K. Udall] is too funny to be President.

Political reforms, without exception, have a down side.

[Campaign] Promises forecast governance.

Every joke a President makes about himself is another barb that is taken out of the arsenal of his opponent.

I devised the Bert Lance Toe Test then - you go out on the front porch of the house, turn 'The Washington Post' over with your big toe, and if your name's above the fold, you know you're not going to have a good day.

I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.

I have a couple of jokes that are politically oriented, but it just sickens me to do them.

When it comes to music, we should be hoping for as outlandish a Republican candidate as we can get.

I think politics is extremely funny in and of itself.

'SNL' has always been known for its ability to skewer politics, and the circus that was Palin's bid to be Vice President was ripe for parody.

I've got genuine political reasons for not voting for David Cameron. He's got a tiny little mouth.

We've had a lot of controversy in our career, and it's never been intentional.

Donald Trump is finding out what I found out: when you run for office, you are not allowed to tell a joke.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.

Wit puts politicians at risk.

I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

Voting for New Labour is like helping an old lady across the road while screaming 'Get a move on!' Even the Tories, who you could once rely on to be completely heartless are pretending to care.

The people I really feel sorry for are all the writers out there who wrote these outrageous comedic romps about a grossly unqualified person who goes on to become a Vice Presidential candidate in a hotly contested presidential race. With hilarious results. They must be so bummed.

Mr. Bibbit, you might warn this Mr. Harding that I'm so crazy I admit to voting for Eisenhower. Bibbit! You tell Mr. McMurphy I'm so crazy I voted for Eisenhower twice! And you tell Mr. Harding right back — he puts both hands on the table and leans down, his voice getting low — that I'm so crazy I plan to vote for Eisenhower again this November.

I have absolutely no interest in running for president again.

George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy.