George Carlin Quotes

If you have to end up in the hospital, try to focus all your pain in your heart rather than your head.

I could have had a session of defecography, which is a diagnostic test in which X-rays are taken to assess anatomical problems occurring during the process of defecation. I gave it the briefest of thoughts before recognizing that this is beyond the pale - even for me.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I'm going to do the old 'plaster removal' technique and just get the pain over with in one go: 'Life's Too Short' isn't funny to me.

As a medical doctor and cardiac surgeon, I had the responsibility of performing open-heart surgery on President Spencer W. Kimball in 1972, when he was Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

We typically sell a catheter lab to a hospital, and it sits there for the next 10 years, and we don't visit the cardiologist on a daily basis. Volcano have a disposable business. They are in the cath lab on a daily basis.

I had heart surgery when I was 17.

When I had the heart attack I had one stent inserted, which was great.

The precepts of philosophy and of the Hebrew code, laid hold of actions only. (Jesus) pushed his scrutinies into the heart of man, erected his tribunal in the regions of his thoughts, and purified the waters at the fountain head.

God's standard of judgment goes down to the intents of the heart.

I measure the moment in the heartbeats I skip

The heart is an astrologer that always divines the truth.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

You risk working with this director, you risk making this movie, you risk working with another actor you don't know. It makes your heart beat faster. And it keeps you interested.

We must learn to measure ourselves, not by our knowledge about God, not by our gifts and responsibilities in the church, but by how we pray and what goes on in our hearts. Many of us, I suspect, have no idea how impoverished we are at this level. Let us ask the Lord to show us.

It's like being called up in the draft. The peculiar joy of hemorrhaging without bleeding starts when the evil little red light glows on the monstrous camera.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

Actually, I'd already briefed him, early this morning. Since we were up at six. Since, at six, the nurse had been overcome with the overwhelming compulsion to take Fang's temperature right then.

We keep telling God our opinions; He keeps asking us about our hearts. We'll grow the most when we have the right conversations.

For nobody else, gave me thrill-with all your faults, I love you still. It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.

But when Bumby nursed, his fist clutching the fabric of my robe, his eyes soft and bottomless and locked on mine, as if I were the very heart of his universe, I couldn't help but melt into him.

I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.

Lord, teach us to take our hearts and look them in the face, however difficult it may be.

Adventure and danger can be good for your heart and soul.

His heart; some long word at the heart. He is dying of a long word.