Barbara Seaman Quotes

I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

... some of the best sex I can barely remember.

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.

You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?

I learned about sex the hard way... from books.

Every sex scene is always, without a doubt, terribly funny.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

But certainly in Uganda, Mozambique and South Africa, people don't really talk about sex and certainly religious leaders - some of them - up to now have been very unwilling to accept, for instance, the promotion of condom use

Football is being used as a language in that project...The vital message being communicated to the boys and young men is about safe sex, the use of condoms and preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS.

When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, I want to have sexual relations with you, he doesn't have to do that. But when he does, he has to use a condom.