I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.
Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease.
I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.
Venereal: From Venus, the goddess of love, this word refers to the reality of desire. With the rise of Protestantism and science, the word disease was tacked on in a revealing combination of categorization and moralizing. Which disease? The disease of love.
I'm devoted to promiscuity, and always have been. I believe the more you do, the better it is for you. I'm a great health nut, and sex is, I think, absolutely marvelous for the whole system; tones you up.
There's no such thing as free love. Have you seen the price of Viagra?
Masturbation is great for the right arm
Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
The more sex becomes a non-issue in people's lives, the happier they are.
I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that.
I scowled defensively. "My conversations don't usually include the subject of erections." "Too bad," he said. "All the best conversations do.
Masturbation is good for the right arm.
Masturbation is a democratic pleasure, practiced by rich and poor, young and old, married and single.
Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.
I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.
She's vibrator dependent.
He who immerses himself in sexual intercourse will be assailed by premature aging, his strength will wane, his eyes will weaken, and a bad odour will emit from his mouth and his armpits, his teeth will fall out and many other maladies will afflict him.
They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!
Sex is good. Everybody does it and everybody should.
Sex, which ought to be an incident of life, is the obsession of the well-fed world.
Vibrators. I think they are great. They keep you out of stupid sex. I'd pitch them to anybody.
I'm sorry to say that when some people get to age 50, they say, "Well, that's the end, I'll never have to do sex again." They lay down first and get up last! But in your sixties, everything is sweeter. You have more time.
It's because I do see sex as sacred and potentially spiritual that I believe in commercializing it and making this potentially holy experience more easily available to all.
