Humorous Insult Quotes

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.

I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.

Once again we're talking to Brian Kenny, a man of many traits, a master of nothing.

Not that we've got anything against America, mind. But let's face it, you make a lousy cup of tea over here.

That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus.

I felt like people who had a lost mindset or who occasionally did stupid things were having a 'donkey' moment, or some of them are permanent donkeys, so I just started calling them donkeys. So when I went to Philly to do my own morning show, that's when I first started doing 'Donkey of the Day.'

Give me the effing phone, Strider grumbled, opening his palm and waving his fingers. Effing? William laughed with genuine amusement. You ever realize how polite you get when you're hammered? And you know what they say. A man's true charactor is revealed when he's toasted. So you gotta face facts, man. You're a closet gentlmen. Loser! The heck I am! Even Paris laughed at that.

Are you casting asparagus on my cooking?

Men who wear turtlenecks look like turtles.

Simmon pushed his hair out of his eyes, laughing boyishly. "You can't argue your way out of this one! She's obviously stupid for you. And you're just plain stupid, so it's a great match.

Talking of first times Stephanie, I bet your first time was really memorable for you and the captain ot the football team .. and the basketball team .. and the softball team, the track team, the chess club and the pool boy!