Bitter humor Quotes

I am not at all cynical, I have merely got experience, which, however, is very much the same thing.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A third variety of drama ... begins as tragedy with scraps of fun in it ... and ends in comedy without mirth in it, the place of mirth being taken by a more or less bitter and critical irony.

thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to my mother-in-law.

It is a curious fact, but a fact it is, that your witty people are the most hard-hearted in the world. The truth is, fancy destroys feeling. The quick eye to the ridiculous turns every thing to the absurd side; and the neat sentence, the lively allusion, and the odd simile, invest what they touch with something of their own buoyant nature. Humor is of the heart, and has its tears; but wit is of the head, and has only smiles - and the majority of those are bitter.

Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?" "Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth." "Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms.

The land of my fathers. My fathers can have it.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.

Did you forget? I'm a heartless wretch!

Nothing is funnier than a true story told by a bitter old black man.

Hey, if you'd wanted to avoid 'this,' you shouldn't have lured me last night. Now it's too late. You might as well avoid the long, drawn-out pain and get it over with quickly. Sort of like taking off a Band-Aid. Or cutting off a limb." "Wow, who says there's no romance left in the world?

You ought to be ironical the minute you get out of bed. You ought to wake up with your mouth full of pity.

But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.

At bottom, to be colored means that one has been caught in some utterly unbelievable cosmic joke, a joke so hideous and in such bad taste that it defeats all categories and definitions.

My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke. It caused me to laugh bitterly through the 10,000 nights I spent alone.

Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

Laughter and bitterness are often the veils with which a sore heart wraps its weakness from the world.

To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matter how black and bitter that humor may be.

I like my coffee like I like my romantic partners: cold and bitter and prone to giving me anxiety attacks.

I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.