Alice B. Toklas Quotes

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.

After wisdom comes wit.

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.

Wit is the lowest form of humor.

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.

Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin.

It takes intelligence to make real comedy, and it takes a reality base to create all that little stuff I like to do that makes you giggle inside.

I'm keeping my acerbic wit completely fueled.

I love smart comedy.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Listen closely as those around you speak; great truths are revealed in jest.