Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

The problem with the designated driver programme, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At then end of the night drop them off at the wrong house.

I went out with some old friends and we were having fun. A couple of them were very intoxicated. When I went to leave, I refused to let them drive. So when I got pulled over, I was the driver.

Sometimes I was like Beavis and Butt-head growing up. I know people who lit their friend's house on fire accidentally.

I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now.

It's just not a good idea to drink and drive; that is just common sense. But common sense is not that common!

I haven't changed a bit. I go out with my mates, but I probably have to watch what I do a little more.

I did my fair share of stupid stuff in high school, like anyone. I had a healthy fear of my parents, and I certainly never wanted to disappoint them. That would be the worst thing I could ever do.

I'm not much of a club goer because every time I do go I get in trouble.

You don't have the judgment after you've had the drink. If something truly catastrophic had happened that evening, I don't know how I could have lived with myself. I feel like I've gotten a second chance.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Let them call it mischief: When it is past and prospered t'will be virtue.

I really can't blame anyone but myself, because I didn't have to deliver the album. But when you get caught up in the gas, and you're young, and there's so much helium going on around you, you can't decipher the real end.

That wasn't the way that things was supposed to be. And all because the so-called culture that I thought was right, that I thought it was cool, and I thought it was fun, and it was exciting at the time. It all led to me laying in a prison bunk by myself with no one to talk to but myself.

The only other time I can recall my dad getting upset at me was when I missed a hockey practice. My parents were away, so my buddy and I decided to skip it. I never told my dad about it, but he found out from the coach.

Everyone here wants to drag me into your particular projects. I’ve always supported what you wanted to do, even when I disagreed. You wanted to go raise hell—but they were going to blame me. You have all these brilliant ideas. But I’m the one that’s going to get killed.

I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't be behind the wheel.

The way Bhagwant Mann was reprimanded by Kejriwal at the time of his being made state president - with the condition that if he's found drinking he will be removed from the party's top post, and later Mann saying that he will step down if caught drinking - was not the right way of saying things.

I haven't gotten in any trouble off the floor.

Back in the old days, guys used to wreck hotel rooms and trash rental cars and all that dumb stuff. When I came into wrestling, they were like, 'We're out of cars. You're one of those wrestlers. No, we're not renting a car to you.' It was like that. We had to re-create, re-establish the trust.

If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.

Only ignorance! only ignorance! how can you talk about only ignorance? Don't you know that it is the worst thing in the world, next to wickedness? -- and which does the most mischief heaven only knows. If people can say, 'Oh! I did not know, I did not mean any harm,' they think it is all right.

So remember it, lad. If your head thinks up mischief, your backside's going to pay for it. Brian Fraser to young Jamie

Nations, like individuals, cannot become desperate gamblers with impunity. Punishment is sure to overtake them sooner or later.

A word that has been said may be unsaid-it is but air. But when a deed is done, it cannot be undone, nor can our thoughts reach out to all the mischiefs that may follow.