Trick Quotes

Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar.

I have been told for years by among others, some of my own family, that this is exactly what the Bureau was doing all the time, and in my great wisdom and high office, I assured them that ... it just wasn't true. It couldn't happen. They wouldn't do it .... The trick now ... is for this Committee to be able to figure out how to persuade the people of this country that indeed it did go on. And how shall we insure that is will never happen again?

My trick is the trick that everyone knows: Work really hard and prepare.

I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

A gimmick would be something you'd do to attract attention or to bring fame and fortune.

When you're as plain as I am, you've gotta have a gimmick.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

If you give me six tries, I can probably land a kick flip.

Could've sworn I heard you say Amen this morning, showing some kind of sign that you believe. Did it fall from your tongue without warning? Or just another trick to fall from your sleeve?

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

The real secret of magic is that there is no magic.

That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please.

Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out who's left in the boat?

I fell into a deep sleep tucked in that little cocoon, a deeper sleep than I might of had in years. Right up until someone kicked me and said "Gotcha!

Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.

A little personal trick: apply brown eyeliner throughout the day and then just add a little black over the top for a night look.

You can't pander to your audience. You might in the short term, but ultimately you can't hoodwink them, either.

I know exactly what I'm doing when I'm doing a trick. I really hate it when I fail.

There is not a crime, there is not a dodge, there is not a trick, there is not a swindle, there is not a vice which does not live by secrecy.

I don't know what the big deal about Cracker Jack is. Did you ever go buy a pack of Cracker Jack, thinking you'd get a prize and find no prize in the box? (pause) Here's the pitch.

You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.

One magician demanded I show him an image of the love of his life. I rustled up a mirror.