provocative statement Quotes

Would you rather your child had feminism or cancer?

I'm not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off the homophobes.

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.

So far I've always kept my diet secret but now I might as well tell everyone what it is. Lots of grapefruit throughout the day and plenty of virile young men.

I scowled defensively. "My conversations don't usually include the subject of erections." "Too bad," he said. "All the best conversations do.

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

Bring back dueling, I say. Drive-by sword fight.

before feminism was, Paglia was!

I'm for Barack Obama. We gotta have the Muslim cell in there just to piss Rush Limbaugh and the right wing off.

I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead, make my day.

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!

Kiss my ass and my anus’cause it’s finally famous.

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler

No, I have something else between my legs.

I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.

If New York is the Big Apple, tonight Hollywood is the Big Nipple.

You look beautiful sitting there spitting at me like a she-cat. All I have to do is look at you, and I lust. I'm going to take you back to the hotel and take off that delectable dress and make love to you until you don't have the energy to be mad at me anymore." Ian Connelly, Marquis of Derne

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

My answer to your question'Does the writer have a social responsibility?' is NO.You owe me ten cents, sir.

If I were president, I would turn the tables and allow the fetus to abort its mother.

You're not going to get anything politically correct out of me.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.