Offensive Jokes Quotes

Did I not tell you earlier that a Jew is such a noble, precious jewel that God and all the angels dance when he farts?

Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You're going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don't care who. You can't make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America.

You never want to defend a joke. People get to choose whether or not to laugh and whether or not they think something is funny.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

'Movie 43' is about the hardest R Rated comedy ever.

I think very long and hard about every possibly offensive joke I want to make. I really hate mean humor and would hate to make anyone reading my jokes feel truly bad.

I certainly don't know a lot of anti-Semitic people, but I've got plenty of friends that have a whole bunch of Jew jokes up their sleeve, and every time it's relevant, it will come up.

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire. And I think that people are confusing the two. It’s only a fire when it offends the fans, and the fans turn on you. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. If you’ve watched enough Tracy Morgan, you let the worst thing go by. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. You can’t break up with me if we don’t date.

The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.

I think jokes on colour or body shaming shouldn't be made. It's not funny to crack such jokes.

If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else.

This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France. Twelve people were killed because a satirical newspaper made jokes that some group found offensive. All of us are accustomed to bad news from around the world. But this story hits home for anybody who mocks anyone.

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good.

There are many that I will not post. I'm not trying to show a blatant death. I'm trying to show something funny that, every now and then, pushes the envelope a little bit.

Whoever decided that comic valentines were a good idea should have been sent away to think it over.

If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do ; try to be shocking and dirty.

Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh.

It's still a soft R, but when I watch other people's standup, I'm dumbfounded that people call me dirty. That's only because I did family television.

I've dropped a lot of race humor from my routines, not because I think it is in bad taste, but because I don't want to be guilty of telling old jokes.

It had been awhile since anyone had made a movie like that [ Sausage Party], and it took them a long time to get anyone to agree to do it, because they were unwavering on the tone of the movie being so ridiculously filthy. Seth [Rogen] and Evan [Goldberg], for as successful as they are, this was their passion project that they couldn't get off the ground.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

There are certain things that are probably too mean. I don't particularly like fat jokes. Those kind of bother me. But I guess what I was trying to say is, if I said I would never laugh at this, you could probably dig around and find a situation where I did laugh. I try not to be a hypocrite with that one. I find when there's a controversy about someone saying something offensive, I usually take the angle of, "Well, I don't know if that was offensive; it just wasn't funny." I generally don't gasp, "Oh my God!" I think people have been getting raked over the coals lately.

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.