Embarrassing Moment Quotes

I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.

Then there was a maiden speech, so inaudible that it was doubted whether, after all, the young orator really did lose his virginity.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

I remember in high school, I ate some nachos probably like an hour, half-hour before the game, and it's kind of gross, but a little of it came up while I was running - you know you get that burp - and I literally coughed at the same time, and it got caught in my nose, and it was during the game.

My day goes from one embarrassing moment to the next.

When I was in middle school, some of my so-called friends found a catalogue ad I did for Superman pajamas. They made as many copies as they could and pasted them up all over school.

I once got chased off stage by a heavy-metal band.

My first experience on public radio still ranks among the most embarrassing episodes of my relatively short life.

Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad? Mac MacGuff: What? Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um... Mac MacGuff: *Or*...? Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'

McMahon 3:16 says 'I just pissed my pants!'

The worst thing that happened to me at a gig was when the microphone wasn't on one time, and for the three lines of the verse with Chipmunk, you couldn't hear me.

I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. "It was all because of the shower gel," I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. "Shower gel?" I made a major effort not to sigh. "Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.

I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

First, Donald Trump took out like this little make up compact like right here, because he had a sweat mustache.

When I saw you fall..." "You thought, 'Wow, she's a loser.

I had underwear thrown on stage that said 'Gokey' on the back... all glittery! It was grandma-underwear, too.

This one fellow I met at the gym. I went out to dinner with him and he said, 'I've been watching you for a year and I never thought you'd go out with me!' Then he fainted at the dinner table. I didn't know what the hell to make of that.

Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army." I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out. My mother froze, her fork poised in midair. That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life." I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile.

I can't believe I did a peace sign on TV - like Ringo Starr!

I'll never forget the time my mother showed up with her best friend and two daughters, and all four of us dressed up in matching clothes, shoes and hats to go pick up my brother from school. I thought it was a fun thing to do, but we stepped outside my brother's school and he was mortified!

The only time I only really made out with a girl in high school, my mom caught me.

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

My first kiss was in 7th grade. It grossed me out. I kind of freaked out!