Corporate Humor Quotes

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

In Huntington Beach, California, three police instructors lost their jobs after ordering two cadets who were caught smoking to eat cigarette sandwiches as punishment. And of course the tobacco companies are thinking, 'Cigarette sandwiches - what a great idea.'

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today.

When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be serious, and now it's stolid white guys in gray suits trying to be funny.

I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

It was always amusing to be inside Apple and read what journalists said we were doing

Leading a big company means never allowing a company to take itself too seriously.

Executives do not on the whole do well with comedy. They can't understand it, they can't read it, they can't spot it.

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

When people ask what college I graduated from, I say: I didn't graduate from college. I graduated from Nike. I started my career as an intern getting coffee.