Scott Adams Quotes

Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost certain to be some minority group offended.

Leading a big company means never allowing a company to take itself too seriously.

I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director face on).

Yes, I have a good sense of humor to sort of last a long time in show business, and I think to be able to find comedic value in who you are and the people that you work is always a good thing.

I think it says something that I have never had an obscene letter. A young man once attempted one, but it was so totally illiterate and hopeless that it made me laugh.

There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.

I manage through a sense of humor. We all work hard, and work has to be a really interesting, fun place. And that has to start at the top.

The biggest problem of all is that it's very difficult to tell my daughter, 'Swearing is not clever or funny,' because I earn a living by swearing.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

Any man who has had the job I've had and didn't have a sense of humor wouldn't still be here.

Try to find someone with a sense of humor. That's an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. You don't want to hide away from a point, because some points are serious, but you'd rather have a discussion that was a discussion, rather than an argument.

But Wall Street people are in fact very smart; they're funny, they're not company men who work their way up the chain.

“You are a gutless son of-a bitch and you ought to resign the Presidency of the United States.” That’s about as mean as they get. Let’s use it.

Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.

I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.

Take the tone of the company you are in.

I was still working at Google when I wrote the blog post '10 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings.' I was scared to share it at first because I didn't want my coworkers to think that I was making fun of them - which I totally was. But then afterward I had people coming up to me like, 'I have a meeting trick! Put my meeting trick in your next post!'

I'm always playing jokes, even on the manager - some, not many. I want to try and keep my place in the squad.

When people ask what college I graduated from, I say: I didn't graduate from college. I graduated from Nike. I started my career as an intern getting coffee.

Before comedy, I worked at a tech company, and before that, I worked on Wall Street. And, honestly, I've never really been sexually harassed.

Even when a drunk guy, a program director, was slurring his words and telling me what to do with my career, I didn't react to him in a negative way. You kind of have to joke back with them to put them in their place.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I'm not easily offended. I have a pretty high tolerance for raunchiness or shock value, so I'm the wrong person to use as a gauge.

Don't forget to bring your sense of humor to your labor.