Airplane Etiquette Quotes

On the plane, an eight-year-old with an excess of testosterone keeps running across my feet. Finally I grab him by his T-shirt and say, very sweetly, 'Listen, darling, if you don't stop trampling me I'm going to make you sit on my lap while I tell you my entire life story. Including a lot of details about drug rehab and my divorce.' He goes back to his seat.

Traveling with kids is tough. My best advice is don't do it.

You don't want to be wearing tight jeans and a blingy jacket on a 16-hour flight.

When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.

I'm glad you can't talk on your cells while the plane is in the air. That would drive me crazy.

Don’t worry if I lay my head back and start to snore while we’re flying. It’s normal. I’m just here in case Jake has a stroke and dies. (Tony)

Guy on the plane I'm on has a text alert that sounds like a gunshot... And he isn't putting it on vibrate.

There should be an F.A.A. fine for those who bring hot food that emits odor onto the plane. You're deemed selfish, and you have to take some sort of social awareness class.

You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage." Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating. If you make a scene they'll hual you off in leg irons." Stephanie said. I'm tired of being stapped in here, too," Lula said. "This seat belt's too tight and it's giving me gas." Anything else?" There's no movie.

The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls during your flight. The bad news? The person sitting next to you will be able to make cellphone calls during yourflight.

I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: "That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.

Air travelers, of course, are famous for their hubris. They carry on too many bags and use the restroom when the seat-belt sign is on.

I really find that when I get on an airplane, I never drink anything but water, and I drink a ton of it. I like to sit in the window, but I'm always climbing over people to go to the bathroom. I'm that seatmate. But ya gotta do it. All about the water.

It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can't shut them up.

The little girl on the plane Who turned her doll's head around To look at me.

As a Middle Eastern male, I know there's certain things I'm not supposed to say on an airplane in the U.S., right? I'm not supposed to be walking down the aisle, and be like, 'Hi, Jack.' That's not cool. Even if I'm there with my friend named Jack, I say, 'Greetings, Jack. Salutations, Jack.' Never 'Hi, Jack.'

That guy behind me on the airplane? He's been kicking my seat because he hates me. He's kicking my seat because he hates me and I'm gonna kill him. When we get off this plane, I'm gonna make eye contact. I'm gonna kill that guy. And all of that is just stuff in my head, but it's good to get rid of that stuff.

Children have to fly on a separate plane, and people older than 60 have to fly on a separate plane also, because for some reason, after you get a little older, you forget that when you pull on the seat in front of you to get up from your seat that the person sitting in that seat actually feels something.

My idea of everything going smoothly on an airplane is (a) that I not die in a slow-motion fiery crash or get stabbed to death by terrorists and (b) that none of the other passengers try to talk to me. All conversation should end at the moment the wheels leave the ground.

I've become one of those annoying people who brings their own food on to planes.

If I was on an airplane, the people in coach would know who I am. But no one in first class would know.