Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

Well not really to get attention, but to entertain, but you know to show some elements of rural life as well, it kind of blended all in, its kind of like a mockery in a sense, kind of stab back at people that have those stereotypical ideas of the south.

I would like to break out of this "dark, brooding" image, cause I'm actually not like that at all. In Ireland, brooding is a term we use for hens. A brooding hen is supposed to lay eggs. Everytime somebody says "He's dark and brooding" I think: "He's about to lay an egg".

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

Always my fallback is - I'm gonna move to a poor town and open a scone shop.

I'm Cuban, so I know a lot of people who act like vampires. But wait, vampires have to be invited to your house, so maybe they are nothing like Latinos!

When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

Americans think the only funny Brits are John Cleese, Benny Hill and whoever makes our toothpaste. They're not laughing with us, they are laughing at us.

Summing it Up..."Where's a good place for dinner?" I asked. "There's the Brasserie Lipp on the Avenue St. Germaine," she said, "or La Coupole in Montmartre." "Not La Coupole," I said. "I've been there before. That's the place that's crowded and noisy and smells bad and everybody's rude as hell, isn't it?" "I think you just described France," she said.

Dory is what Mum used to call a "strong-looking woman," which means that, from the back, she looked like a man, and, from the front, you preferred the back

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.