Daniel Tosh Quotes

That's one of the tragedies of this life - that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous.

Violence stinks no matter which side of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan.

I know if someone talked trash to me, I'd want to kick his butt.

I got into a lot of fights. Then I started knocking people out, and they stopped.

When a bully pulls your hair, you punch him in the face.

In my experience of fights and fighting, it is invariably the aggressor who keeps getting everything wrong.

My mouth has a tendency to get me into trouble, but because I'm so small and I take on people who are lager than me. If someone punched me, I'd get my drummer beat them up.

We need to do something about the culture of violence.

My dad always used to tell me that if they challenge you to an after-school fight, tell them you won't wait-you can kick their ass right now.

My people have been sucked into the violence because some feel they have to retaliate, and some feel they have to protect themselves.

I never felt out of control. It was just the way I lived my life. I was the neighborhood bully.

Fights in real life between real people only last so long before someone gets seriously hurt.

Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).

Aggression unopposed becomes a contagious disease.

If they [political opponents] go around lying about your record, insulting your job performance, your wife and your patriotism, you ought to double up your fist and knock the crap out of them.

One active campaign, a smart action, and burning two or three their towns, will set everything to rights.

I used to get into a lot of fights.

I thought me hitting you and you not hitting me and me making you miss and even throwing more than you means that I won a fight.

All the kids at school would bully me and always wanted me to fight them. I never did, but if I wanted to, I totally could.

Fighting was a problem for me in high school.

At any given moment, if I see my bully, the guy who's trying to conquer me, we're going to find out. And if we could fight every time we came across each other, we would.

The older kids, if they wanted something from you, whether it was cash or sports equipment, they would just take it. My older brothers used to say, 'If someone tries to take something from you, never give it to them.' So we fought all the time.

The neighbor's kid was bullying my kid. Crossing the line. Threatening him all the time. I went over there to tell him what was going on. I had on flip-flops. I wasn't there to fight. It was a misunderstanding between a couple of dudes where one thing led to another.

Don’t ever fight with Lisbeth Salander. Her attitude towards the rest of the world is that if someone threatens her with a gun, she’ll get a bigger gun.

Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field.