Bill Engvall Quotes

If I had the hand strength to sign autographs for everybody in Kansas City, I would... but its just impossible to get to everyone.

Impossibility is a dictionary word.

There's no possible way you can get what you want.

When you have an injury, you are hindered a little bit.

It is difficult to fly without wings.

There's no getting blood out of a turnip.

Unfortunately, the suit is so stiff, I can't do this with two hands, but I'm going to try a little sand-trap shot here.

At least I thought it was a wall. It sure felt like one. It was hard. It was flat. It stretched out on either side of me. You know... wall.

It's never been done doesn't mean it can't be done.

Now why should that man have fainted? But he did,and right across my path by the wall, so that I had to creep over him every time!

Nobody intends to put up a wall!

The largest ambition has the least appearance of ambition when it meets with an absolute impossibility in compassing its object.

Reach what you cannot

But one may say something and yet not be able to do it. Try, for instance, lifting yourself up by the bootstraps.

Suppose you succeed in breaking the wall with your head. And what, then, will you do in the next cell?

Whether we athletes liked it or not, the 4-minute mile had become rather like an Everest: a challenge to the human spirit, it was a barrier that seemed to defy all attempts to break it, an irksome reminder that men's striving might be in vain.

When you say a wall, you mean a wall. You want to build a fence, you say fence. You don't use it as a euphemism for a virtual, say surveillance from hot air balloons that are floating over the border which some people have advocated.

When feet doesn't want to hold you, you climb with your head. Maybe it isn't the natural order of things, but isn't it better to walk with your head than to think with your feet, as it happens so frequently?

The human race is like a bird and it needs both wings to be able to fly. And, at the moment, one of is wings is clipped an we're never going to be able to fly as high.

Perseverance is the most overrated of traits, if it is unaccompanied by talent; beating your head against a wall is more likely to produce a concussion in the head than a hole in the wall.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

The world is the closed door. It is a barrier. And at the same time it is the way through.

"It's very good jam," said the Queen. "Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." "You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam to-day." "It must come sometimes to "jam to-day,""Alice objected. "No it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day; to-day isn't any other day, you know." "I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing."

I'm going to fail to hit the mark I've put up before me because it's not possible to hit it. I want to be the best at what I do so I've got to get over myself already because that's never going to happen. I ain't ever going to be God.

[Donald Trump] put this issue at the center of this presidential campaign in the Republican primaries. And his position and his principles have been absolutely consistent. We're going to secure the border. We're going to build a wall, have a physical barrier. We're going to enforce the laws of this country, end sanctuary cities, implement E-Verify.