Joe Rogan Quotes

Once a year my back will go out and it'll be... it's like a sciatic thing and it's the smallest thing. Like I could be leaning over the sink to brush my teeth in a weird way and it happens.

A swollen belly is a lot of pressure on the back.

When an apprentice gets hurt, or complains of being tired, the workmen and peasants have this fine expression: "It is the trade entering his body." Each time that we have some pain to go through, we can say to ourselves quite truly that it is the universe, the order and beauty of the world, and the obedience of God that are entering our body.

My back hurts. My legs ache. I'm only four!

I don't personally feel comfortable performing in a comedy club, mainly because as an audience member, I've never enjoyed that experience. It feels a little bit theme-park-ish to me, in that it's a club whose product is comedy. I find that weird. It's like those specialty chocolate stores, where everything is chocolate. It's too specific. I like going somewhere that specializes in variety.

Hey man, I gotta straighten my face. This mellow thighed chick just put my spine out of place.

Some stances are just conducive to swinging. If I stand up straight for too long it's harder to swing. Plus my feet hurt.

You can’t jump for the stars if your feet hurt.

My arms hurt from how tightly Patch held me. “Now that’s what I call a scream,” he said, grinning at me.

If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.

It hurts and hurts to have him this close. I feel sick with it.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself.

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

The difference between the truth and a lie is that both of them can hurt, but only one will take the time to heal you afterward.

I want people to know if they have any hurting in their back, or any tingling or anything like that, go see a chiropractor and help yourself feel better about your body and take some of that pain away.

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you'd want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

When you're on the open sea and you drop 10, 12 feet and your stomach goes up around your neck - that's when you have problems.

I feel pain everyday of my life. When you see me perform, it's that pain you're seeing coming out. I put all my emotions, all my feelings, and my body on the line. People hurt me, I hurt myself - mentally, physically

Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

I am a sick man...I am a wicked man. An unattractive man. I think my liver hurts. However, i don't know a fig about my sickness, and am not sure what it is that hurts me. I am not being treated and never have been, though I respect medicine. What's more, I am also superstitious in the extreme; well, at least enough to respect medicine.

I'd been sick on tour for about two years with this medical anomaly that doctors couldn't figure out. That's a big part of my life: I just feel really sick a lot of the time and can't figure out why. I'd gotten these shots in Russia, where we'd just been. It was just heavy. It's just heavy performing for people who really care about you, and you don't really care that much about yourself sometimes.

My patience has dreadful chilblains from standing so long on a monument.

I started out in stand-up when I was 18, which is really masochistic, and I did it really till I started going in movies. I did it for about three years out in LA.

Movies are now more often watched on the small screen anyway. But at least for me, what got lost in that is the difference in the medium.

I had to groan a bit on the couch when my brow was mopped - as it is when you've been shot across the chest.