Will Rogers Quotes

My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.

If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.

The way that words fit together is always interesting to me. I love words.

My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I'll just be Big.

The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."

A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial

There are people who study germs. I believe they are called Germans

Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this, being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.

Drag queens always love a portmanteau of combining words and making something new, because this whole world is shilarious. And so you have to contain yourself with words. Shilarious is just something that is a really hooty kiki funny item.

The words. Why did they have to exist? Without them, there wouldn't be any of this.

This book will prove the following ten facts: 1. A Goon is a being who melts into the foreground and sticks there. 2. Pigs have wings, making them hard to catch. 3. All power corrupts, but we need electricity. 4. When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, the result is a family fight. 5. Music does not always sooth the troubled beast. 6. An Englishman's home is his castle. 7. The female of the species is more deadly than the male. 8. One black eye deserves another. 9. Space is the final frontier, and so is the sewage farm. 10. It pays to increase your word power.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy.

Jimi Hendrix once said, 'You will never hear surf music again.' Well, tonight, you will hear 'serf' music again - S-E-R-F music.

My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

To speak algebraically, Mr. M. is execrable, but Mr. G. is (x + 1)- ecrable.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

The tax code is 10 times the size of the Bible with none of the good news.

A sentence is made up of words, a statement is made in words.... Statements are made, words or sentences are used.

The elks, on the other hand live up in the hills, and in the spring they come down for their annual convention. It is very interesting to watch them come to the water hole. And you should see them run when they find it is only a water hole. What they're looking for is an 'elk-a-hole'.

Like a frog, the aphorist waits for something to fly by that he can catch with his tongue.

The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language.