Katharine Whitehorn Quotes

I would like to thank the honorable police and judges and all those who worked to arrest dog lovers.

A religion that cannot stand a little laughter must be a very rotten one.

I can't have discussions about it anymore, I just can't. When someone asks me if I've found Jesus, I say, 'Yeah, I saw him at a Nirvana concert a couple of years ago.' It's like, Jesus has got things to do, he's got a ten o'clock. He's not going to fix things for me, I have to fix things for myself, so I try and have a sense of humor about it and nobody finds my humor very amusing. We've just got to lighten up on the savior bit, folks. You know, get off the cross, we need the wood.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

I've taken up the Bible again, somewhat in the spirit of W.C. Fields - looking for loopholes.

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

I think we must fully face the fact that when Christianity does not make a man very much better, it makes him very much worse... Conversion may make of one who was, if no better, no worse than an animal, something like a devil.

He [the Rev. Mr. Whitefield] used, indeed, sometimes to pray for my conversion, but never had the satisfaction of believing that his prayers were heard.

I should start with an apology to Rudy Giuliani. I said every sentence Rudy utters has a noun, a verb, and 9/11 in it. I was wrong. He called me to tell me after Pat Robertson's endorsement, there's an Amen in every sentence he says too.

Ridicule often checks what is absurd, and fully as often smothers that which is noble.

God is only mocked by believers.

Never trust a theologian who doesn't have a sense of humor.

Pornography is a satire on human pretensions.

part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations.

That's the trouble with you preachers," he said. "You've all got too good to believe in anything," and he drove off with a look of disgust and righteousness.

It's funny - people think analysis or psychiatry is mad, and THEY go to CHURCH.

I think they're here because I thought they ought to be here," Gansey said. Blue replied sarcastically. "Okay, God.

Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.

Cynicism is carnality that thinks its smart.

I got religion in the airport, my Lord. They caught me waiting on my baggage when I was bored.

Some ministers would make good martyrs: they are so dry they would burn well.

They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting.

I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.