Alec Baldwin Quotes

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

I wouldn't want to be married to me, but luckily Tom Cruise does.

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

All my six husbands married me for different reasons.

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word 'wife' on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it seems to detach from that person and become this sort of abstract thing: that you would set out to find a wife, that it would be an objective like buying a new car.

I love being married. I've been married three times.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

You know what a wifey means? It's like your other half. Like when you get married, like, that's your wife!

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

It's better when you have your wife with you, more fun.

My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.

So I think you have to marry for the right reasons, and marry the right person.

I think my wife married me for my guacamole.

I love being my husband's wife.

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists.

Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

I'm on a search for my future ex-wife.

I'll always be this crazy, fun person, but when it's time to get married, I'm going to be an amazing wife.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

I still love a well-crafted joke. Twitter's been great for that.

I like marriage. The idea.

I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.