Roy Clark Quotes

I can't believe I've turned into a typical old man. I can't believe it. I was young just minutes ago.

I may not yet be as old as dirt, but dirt and I are starting to have an awful lot in common.

For years I wanted to be older, and now I am.

I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born.

I used to love getting older.

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Well, I could do it for a day, but I wouldn't want to be a teenager again. I really wouldn't.

If entertainment years were dog years, man, I'd be like Gandhi. I'd be, like, 250 years old.

You know you're old when you've lost all your marvels.

Technically, I've been retired for some time now. All I ever do is occasionally write songs for friends, such as one, for a friend who had just turned 80. I wrote a song for him called, The First 80 Years are The Hardest.

I am in the prime of my senility.

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

The older I get the better I used to be!

I was 22, and 40 was old. To be 40 again!

Getting older is a fact of life.

I like Colbert because he's funny, and he's cool. He knows how to have fun and doesn't stick his nose up to Fox.

I've always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to amuse my mother's friends even at five or six with witty turns of phrase. Somehow, I just knew how to be funny.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.