TREY PARKER

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.

We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves.

Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it.

When you're watching 'Armageddon,' and the Aerosmith song starts... Super funny.

I was always a very happy, optimistic person.

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.

Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper.

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.

Like anything important, anything you need people to hear - you've got to have music for it. You've got to make it at least a little piece of a song or sometimes a whole song.

It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works.

Even from the very beginning, I didn't put any money in the stock market.

I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid.

When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff.

When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time.

I find Mormons adorable.

How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?'

I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are.

I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park,' and I always have. It's super stressful. I'm always miserable.

I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff.

The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act.

I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original.

If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.'

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister.