STEVE SCHIRRIPA

As far as my own life goes, I don't buy into the Hollywood scene.

When people tell me that I'm a hothead, I have one response, 'You got a problem with that?'

I'd like to form a club just for fathers. Specifically, fathers of daughters. There would be lots of overstuffed leather chairs, wood paneling, dim lights. The works.

'Because I said so!' They are the most underrated four words.

In every movie and every TV show, the dads are morons. And dads tend to react by doing what dads do best: They check out. They say, 'Ask your mother.'

There's no such thing as quality time; there's only quantity time.

I'm not big with negotiating.

I tell my kids, 'I'm your father, not your friend - but I'm also the best friend you're ever going to have because no one is going to care for you the way I care about you.'

Sometimes being a dad is like watching a ping-pong match.

I gotta say, as the father of two beautiful young daughters, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

I've been offered 'Celebrity Fit Club', where you have to take off your shirt and get on a scale. I got kids, man. I'm not going to humiliate myself. I'd rather drive a cab.

People get that dads have a place in the lives of their sons. But you have to be just as present with daughters, maybe even more so. You have to get in there and be part of the game.

In every movie and every TV show, the dads are morons. And dads tend to react by doing what dads do best: They check out. They say, 'Ask your mother.'

Some people will humiliate themselves or their families just to be on television.

I tell my kids, 'I'm your father, not your friend - but I'm also the best friend you're ever going to have because no one is going to care for you the way I care about you.'

I read a lot of true-crime books, but sometimes they can put you in a bad mood.

Moms and daughters can negotiate over anything, and they can go on longer than it took to settle the Vietnam War.

Kids don't come with an instruction manual. So if you're gonna make mistakes, at least make them your own way.

I've worked too hard all my life to have my kids control my life.

I'm not big with negotiating.

I gotta say, as the father of two beautiful young daughters, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

I'd like to form a club just for fathers. Specifically, fathers of daughters. There would be lots of overstuffed leather chairs, wood paneling, dim lights. The works.

There's no such thing as quality time; there's only quantity time.

'Because I said so!' They are the most underrated four words.

As far as my own life goes, I don't buy into the Hollywood scene.

Being the father of girls is a kind of illness, in its own way - since any guy who has tried to live in a house with a wife and two daughters is, without any doubt, going to go certifiably nuts.

When people tell me that I'm a hothead, I have one response, 'You got a problem with that?'

If it's time for your character to go, it's time for your character to go - you know what I mean? That's it. It doesn't matter who you are.

Everybody thinks they have the answer to how to be a good parent. Here's mine: Everybody's gonna make mistakes.

With girls, there's an insecurity that starts early on. It hangs around them, like some annoying kid from down the block who won't take the hint and go home when dinnertime comes. And moms are usually not great at giving their daughters confidence.

Sometimes being a dad is like watching a ping-pong match.

David is the show. There are other writers, but it's David's vision.

So I dipped into my childhood and came up with Nicky Deuce. I wanted him to get into a lot of mischief, like the time I taped a fork to a broom handle and cattle-rustled a steak off the barbecue of the next-door neighbor.