RUBY WAX

Being a mother is hard and it wasn't a subject I ever studied.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other.

I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.

I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself.

I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.

Nannies love working in our house because they never know who's gonna walk through the door.

Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.

Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad.

College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.

I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.

Some interviewees you make friends with and some you don't.

I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

Thoughts aren't fact, so don't take them seriously

My whole career has been an act of revenge.

What once made you safe now drives you insane.

How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except the brain?

People who say ... they're perfectly fine [are] more insane than the rest of us.

Only if you're kind to yourself, can you be kind to others.

[With depression] you get a real sense of shame, because your friends go, 'Oh come on, show me the lump, show me the x-rays,' and of course you've got nothing to show.

For me mindfulness is like building a house, so the next time the tsunami that is depression comes I'll have a structure in place to resist it.