JOEY ADAMS

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

[Referring to Jimmy Carter:] Jimmy's basic problem is that he's super cautious. He looks before and after he leaps.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

[Referring to Jimmy Carter:] Jimmy's basic problem is that he's super cautious. He looks before and after he leaps.

Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.