Unpleasant Surprise Quotes

I don't like spiders, man, just because they are sneaky - they just really scare me. They are hairy - ugh.

I got hit with an octopus in Detroit one time. It was the most gross thing I've ever had happen. I got it right in the back of the neck; all the juice was coming down. It was awful.

Somehow you've been voted something for a magazine, and it's a complete mystery to me. I wake up and I have to look at that head when I brush my teeth every morning, you know. And it's weird. And it's unpleasant at times.

A lie, as you probably know, has a taste all its own. Blocky and bitter and never quite right, like when you pop a piece of fancy chocolate into your mouth expecting toffee filling and you get lemon zest instead.

The worst case scenario is you really like someone's work, then you meet them and they're a self-involved, entitled douchebag.

No man loves the bearer of bad tidings.

Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

What if life is just a cosmic joke, like spiders in your underwear.

It's very awkward to watch yourself on TV because I hate the sound of my voice. It's those moments where you're like, 'I do that?'

He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

A nightmare is two bassists on stage.

There are lots of rats. It's a dirty little secret at the Delacorte Theatre.

To pick up the paper and read about yourself getting slammed, that doesn't start your day off right.

There is nothing so tragic as when a beautiful theory is killed by an ugly fact.

A man should swallow a toad every morning to be sure of not meeting with anything more revolting in the day ahead.

It is a matter of regret that many low, mean suspicions turn out to be well founded.

I tried body surfing once, but how often do you find a corpse?

How dreadful knowledge of the truth can be when there's no help in the truth.

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye.

No one wants a cherry pie that bites back.

I remember having mice in the house and my father taking some newspaper and beating me because mice was running on me while I was asleep.

That really was NOT fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? NOT fun.

It tastes like somebody stole my wallet. Ya know?

Don't blame the messenger because the message is unpleasant.

I went horseback riding and got a big chunk of horse manure kicked into my face. It has a way of slapping you right back into reality.