I don't tan on my upper thighs, so when I first wore those [ cut-off jean short shorts] I look like I was walking on two cans of milk.
Ill-fitted T-shirts stretched over a gut are my pet hate. And if the colour's faded - ugh.
We all look stupid in patterned tights.
I hate it when guys wear really tight t-shirts. It's just so horrible, especially when you can see their bellies.
I dislike turtlenecks at the best of times, as they are always unflattering to the imperfect male physique, but when worn in combination with a v-neck sweater, they say 'Grandpa' louder than any other item of clothing.
I look really bad in one of those orange suits with the numbers on the back. It doesn't do anything for me.
I probably have the worst wardrobe. It's the most ill-fitting with the worst patterns and colors and the most nipple rubbage. There's bad chafing, and it's always tight in all the wrong places. What's sad is that I'm kinda getting used to it.
I used to wear long jumpers, but they made me look like a bag tied up in the middle.
I hate tight, tight stuff showing every line. I want to be sick when people are in Lycra.
When someone is wearing a dress that makes her look fat, don't say 'That's a great dress.' It always comes off badly.
Sequin trousers can be scary and many women may worry they will be unflattering on their legs.
A bad outfit can really get me down. If I'm wearing something really normal and boring, it's like torture.
Belts with potbellies are pretty bad. I mean, what about an oversized shirt and a trouser? What about an oversized button-up shirt in linen and a trouser? Do us all a favor.
