Provocation Quotes

Don’t mess with me, sir, or you will get stung.

When I was in advertising we used naked women to pull them in. Now I use swastikas and uniforms.

To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.

If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.

When I hear anyone talk of Culture, I reach for my revolver.

I didn't just screw Ho Chi Minh. I cut his pecker off.

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.

I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you are the only one to laugh, it is not a joke. It is a joke only for yourself." If people are making a joke they have the right to laugh at me but I will ignore them. Ignoring doesn't mean that you don't understand. You understand it so much that you don't want to react.

When I was in advertising we used to pull them in with naked women. Now I do it with swastikas and uniforms.

We face the delicate question of the diplomatic fencing to be done so as to be sure Japan is put into the wrong and makes the first bad move. ... The question was how we should maneuver them [the Japanese] into the position of firing the first shot.

Liberalism is a mental disorder.

The Mexican War was one of the most unjust ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation. We were sent to provoke a fight, but it was essential that Mexico should commence it.

Ben locked his eyes on mine for a long moment. Then, “How?” “How do you think?” I smiled, then slapped him full across the face

I don't do anything in order to cause trouble. It just so happens that what I do naturally causes trouble. I'm proud to be a troublemaker.

I found myself often asking the question, "Who deserves to be made fun of?" Depending on your mood, the answer can be no one or everyone. It took me a while to understand the math of how those field pieces came together. I don't think that ridicule is ever funny, but there are times when that gets the biggest response.

You can calculate the worth of a man by the number of his enemies, and the importance of a work of art by the harm that is spoken of it.

If somebody comes to me looking for a fight, they might get one.

I don't paint butter dishes, doilies, or hummingbirds in my garden. It's more raw, I suppose. But it always creates a reaction.

You tell that imperial bastard in Mississippi to keep out of Louisiana. Tell that son of a bitch that I am not just using an expression; I am referring to the circumstances of his birth.

Those who are determined to be 'offended' will discover a provocation somewhere. We cannot possibly adjust enough to please the fanatics, and it is degrading to make the attempt.

I never thought of that before! It's my opinion that you never think at all.

Not to be provok'd is best: But if mov'd, never correct till the fume is spent; for every stroke our fury strikes, is sure to hit our selves at last.

The thing is I'm very interested in bad taste, as anyone who's ever seen me perform or had dinner with me would know.

I've never started beef with anybody that didn't start with me first.

I've said things on Twitter that I've said deliberately because I think they're out of order, I think that's the sense of humour that I've got. I like saying things that I think are terrible, because it gives me a buzz.