Poor Cooking Quotes

I'm a terrible cook, so I usually eat out with friends.

I'm a horrendous cook; my mum does my meals. I can only cook beans on toast with cheese.

My culinary skills are terrible. I can't even make toast taste good. I do make scrambled eggs for myself sometimes but I wouldn't even inflict that on anyone else.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

When I lived summers at my grandparents' farm, haying with my grandfather from 1938 to 1945, my dear grandmother Kate cooked abominably. For noon dinners, we might eat three days of fricasseed chicken from a setting hen that had boiled twelve hours.

I am a very bad cook.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Let me start with a confession: I don't enjoy cooking. The reason I usually do it at home is not because I'm a New Man or Jamie Oliver disciple, but because my wife's cooking is so bad. In fact, to me, cooking is less a pleasurable pastime than a defense against poisoning.

No one likes rubbery chicken.

Theres a woman in Arkansas that's such a bad cook, that a swarm of flies got together and repaired her screen door.

There's some really disgusting places out there who just throw some lentil together and think that just because you don't eat meat, you're gonna eat this slop.

I'm not a good cook, unfortunately. I've tried a few times, but I don't like it too much.

My poor cooking is legendary among my friends.

Fake food -- I mean those patented substances chemically flavored and mechanically bulked out to kill the appetite and deceive the gut -- is unnatural, almost immoral, a bane to good eating and good cooking.

I can't cook to save my life.

My family can always tell when I'm well into a novel because the meals get very crummy.