Pet Discipline Quotes

I'm a disciplinarian. I'm the tough love pet owner. I believe in very well-behaved animals.

I don't have a pet, but I dream of someday getting a pug dog whom I will name Croque Monsieur so that I may alternate between calling him Croque, Monsieur or his full name: Croque Monsieur. I'll more than likely only use his first and last name most often when he's been bad.

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

Feed the dogs. I hate to hear them barking like that.

You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words ... have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going ... [mimes obeying all commands] "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!"

The censure of a dog is something no man can stand.

Do not make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they will treat you like dogs.

I well knew the rules to follow with our training Dogs: Speak when you're spoken to. Keep out of the way. Obey all orders. Get killed on your own time.