If you've gotten yourself into a situation when Clay Aiken is going to talk about his feelings with you, it's time to kill yourself.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Some things hit close to home with people, and it's going to be hard to tell someone who lost somebody on 9/11 that a 9/11 joke is funny.
Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
What we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful.
