Joke Telling Quotes

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.

I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy.

I got a few laughs and decided I was going to act.

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

I've been doing comedy for 20 years now. I started when I was 13 and I think for the first 10 years I was impersonating other people.

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.

I feel that I'm a stand-up comedian more than anything else, that's my job.

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke.

I never got beaten up, because I was a wisecracking jokester. I could make a bully laugh before he delivered a punch.

I actually like jokes as well as things that are sort of fun.

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put all the music away and become a real comedian.' But then I realized there are amazing musical comedians out there, that musical comedy is probably something I'll always want to pursue.

My great-grandfather was a variety hall comedian called Billy Mack.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

Humorists are using Twitter to tell jokes in an interesting way. It doesn't have to be profound, and it doesn't have to be earth-shaking, but it is transformative.

I think comedy's something you can't learn. It's an instinct, which makes it rather elusive.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made 'em up myself.

You never want to defend a joke. People get to choose whether or not to laugh and whether or not they think something is funny.

I really love standup because it's something that I've been literally doing for 40 years, which means I'm a thousand years old.

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.

I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare.

As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted.

I'm not making comedy albums. That's too much effort for one joke.

Growing up, the one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to laugh at my jokes wherever I went.