If you had a Ministry box set under your Christmas tree, wrapped in paper, 'From Beer to Eternity' is the bow that goes around the present, you know what I mean?
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
Physicists are atoms' way of thinking about atoms.
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams
My singing voice is somewhere between a drunken apology and a plumbing problem.
Some people said my acting was a cross between Euell Gibbons, Rodney Allen Rippy and Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.
Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as "Here, boy!"
My friend Phil has a theory that the Lord, having made teenagers, felt constrained to make amends and so created the golden retriever.
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
