Hotel Amenities Quotes

I don't have a crazy rider clause saying I have to stay at fancy hotels. I don't have a problem with staying at a Marriott. But I will admit that I've gotten just basic, regular service there.

I love when my hotel room has a fridge, and I simply shop at a local supermarket for things like Greek yogurt, fresh fruit, healthy cereal - like Kashi - and skim milk.

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.

I take my own syrup, ketchup, and mustard, just in case of emergencies, in my suitcase. Whatever I can steal from the hotels. It's usually Heinz ketchup, and they give you a weird mustard. You don't get French's or anything; you get some sort of Dijon or some mustard. That's just for hot dogs. I don't use mustard for anything else.

I look for the hotels that have figured out the comfortable balance - a modern room that is well designed, and really clean sheets.

I have never been in a hotel - from the two-star types all the way to five-star - that does not have a gym.

I love hotel rooms, so I take pictures of the room and the way out and the lobby, the food and drink.

When I'm in the mood for room service, my favorite order is a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you mind if I join you?" Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.

I've stayed in so many hotel rooms that I'm shocked if, when I stay in a hotel room, the hotel phone isn't on the desk. Then I'm like, "This isn't a real hotel room." If there's not outlets next to the desk, or if they have an iPhone adapter for an iPhone 4, that's when I'm sitting there annoyed. I understand that it's ridiculous, but that's just me spending way too much time in hotels.

I got a hotel room at New York New York in Las Vegas and I was very happy. They've got that rollercoaster encircling the entire premises, just like Manhattan.

I can't live without my cup of tea. When I was a judge on 'America's Next Top Model,' they had to put me in a hotel where I had my own kitchen, because they can't make tea in America. I was happy then because I could make my own.

I still enjoy traveling a lot. I mean, it amazes me that I still get excited in hotel rooms just to see what kind of shampoo they've left me.

Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.

I am a big fan of white sheets, hotel bedding and white towels!

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, 'Do you have coke in a glass harmonica ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews'

Room service is a hard thing to pay for. That's, like, oatmeal for $12? That makes me mad.

I've used soap dishes as ashtrays in the best hotels in the world.

I am fortunate to stay at lots of lovely hotels when I'm on tour, but my favourite hotel group in Britain is Malmaison. I recently stayed at the Malmaison in Manchester, which was pretty amazing. It had a fabulous bar and restaurants, as well as fantastic rooms with mood lighting.

I've always thought a hotel ought to offer optional small animals. I mean a cat to sleep on your bed at night, or a dog of some kind to act pleased when you come in. You ever notice how a hotel room feels so lifeless?

Minibars are very appealing, especially when someone else is paying.

I once stayed at a Ritz in D.C., paid for by a client, and when I asked to change rooms because mine smelled of smoke, the hotel immediately found me a better room, then paid for my dinner and drinks and even threw in a free massage to compensate me for the very minor inconvenience.