Funny Situation Quotes

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

I sent my daughter 40 roses last November because I thought she was 40. And she laughed her head off. She is not going to be 40 until this year!

My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.

It's mighty funny. The end of time has just begun.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

Socially, it is funny. People are annoyed because, really who is a clown?.

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said, Tire go flat? I couldn't resist. Said, Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign.

Comedy is probably a lot harder for me. Maybe it's because I've been doing drama for so long or maybe it's because... you don't want to search for a laugh; you can't try to be funny, you just have to naturally be funny or be in a situation that's funny.

I have a friend of mine who does me on his answering machine, and when I call him, I answer. It's pretty strange.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

Dead bodies are such trouble,” Evie said with a little sigh, and Mabel had to turn her head away so as not to laugh.

One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

I bowl so slowly that if I don't like a ball I can run after it and bring it back

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.

A lot of comedies are based on the reaction shot. You have one person doing something stupid and one person is generally the straight man, and the laughs generally come on the reaction of the straight man to the funny thing the other person has done.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?

It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley.

I know enough football to know that's funny!

Oh, my God! It's a killer Pomeranian." I glanced up at Derek. "It's a tough call, but I think you can take him.