The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.
I would eat fruitcake if there'd been a nuclear war and I'd run out of canned goods.
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses.
Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants.
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us.
The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every holiday season!
My family, as you can probably guess, was more into Christmas cookies and not so much the fruitcake.
You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake.
