Final Arrangements Quotes

I have made my will; I have been tormented to do it. I have bought repose; I know the powerlessness and inutility of it.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

If a woman were about to proceed to her execution, she would demand a little time to perfect her toilet.

As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

I tell my children now that they are older, 'If something happens to me... don't make no big fuss over me. Don't make no big expense on my funeral. Don't put any pressure on the rest of the family. I've loved everybody, and I hope they loved me. But don't create this big expense for the family.'

What's going to happen when I die? I may be buried, or I may be cremated, I may give my body to science. I haven't decided yet.

The trouble with dead people often begins with something called the Death Master File, which is kept by the Social Security Administration. Every day, new reports are added, provided by relatives, funeral homes, and the state agencies that issue official death certificates. The list contains 90 million reports.

Prepare for death, if here at night you roam, and sign your will before you sup from home.

Whenever I prepare for a journey I prepare as though for death. Should I never return, all is in order.

Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead?

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.

You can't choreograph death, but you can choreograph your funeral.