False Equivalence Quotes

No man is more inferior than those who insist on being equal.

How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn't make it a leg.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together.

If a jayvee team puts on Lakers uniforms, that doesn't make them Kobe Bryant.

You cannot strengthen one by weakening another; and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the leg of a giant.

Brass shines as fair to the ignorant as gold to the goldsmith.

To say that Windows 95 is just like the Mac is like finding a potato in the shape of Jesus and thinking you have witnessed the second coming

The obvious reductio ad absurdum is Holocaust deniers: Should their perspective be provided, for "balance," any time someone writes about the Holocaust?

There is a subconscious tendency to substitute the conviction, forcefulness, or decibel level of opinionators as a proxy measure of their comprehension of the issues or veracity of their statements. Such correlations are imaginary and often inverse.

No longer is there a quest for the truth so much as there is this apparent need to present both sides of an issue even if one is nothing but lies and distortions.

The various modes of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world, were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher, as equally false; and by the magistrate [politician], as equally useful.

We must take positions. Our weakness in the West is born of the fact of so-called 'objectivity.' Objectivity does not exist - it cannot exist!... The word is a hypocrisy which is sustained by the lie that the truth stays in the middle. No, sir: Sometimes truth stays on one side only.

Charles Manson ate apples. That doesn't mean I'm not going to.

No matter what argument you make against evolution, the response is, 'Well, you know, it's possible to believe in evolution and believe in God.' Yes, and it's possible to believe in Spiderman and believe in God, but that doesn't prove Spiderman is true.

You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle.

You compare yourself to somebody who you think is a peer, and you can totally lose the plot, and not understand that you are nothing like them in the first place, and it was never you versus anybody.

Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however.

I think to compare Germany to the Third Reich is utterly ludicrous.

Nicholas Sparks recently went on record as saying he is a greater novelist than Cormac McCarthy. This is true in the same sense that I am a better novelist than William Shakespeare.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.

God keep me from the divinity of Yes and Nothe Yea Nay Creeping Jesus, from supposing Up and Down to be the same thing as allexperimentalists must suppose.

We'll have to avoid the perils of false equivelance, quoting a person on each side as if there was a genuine debate when we knoow that there isn't.

If I do an interview with [Holocaust survivor] Elie Wiesel, am I required as a journalist to find a Holocaust denier?