Embalming Quotes

You know, of course, the specimens are not alive. We have to fix them in a fixing liquid formaldehyde and then we have to do a rinsing and then we have to coat them in a thin layer of gold.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

There is a great supply of amateur undertakers in show business.

Books are embalmed minds.

Two hundred and fifty mummies covered in gold. Something like this cannot be explained - mummy after mummy covered in shining gold.

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.

To waste! You are unknown and unwanted, save by me. This, because you are fairly adept at the various embalming arts and you occasionally compose a clever epitaph.

She blinked. "Hmm? Oh, don't care. What did Anubis look like to you?" "What did... he looked like a guy. So?" "A good-looking guy, or a slobbering dog-headed guy?" "I guess... Not the dog-headed guy." "I knew it!" Sadie pointed at me as if she'd won an argument. "Good-looking. I knew it!" And with a ridiculous grin, she spun around and skipped into the house. My sister, as I may have mentioned, is a little strange.

I've always said I would want to be a funeral director if I wasn't an actor.

I take classes to be a mortician.

As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

My God, they’ve embalmed him even before he died.

The mortician interviewing the corpses

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

To wash and dress a corpse is a far different thing from making it alive: Man can do the one--God alone can do the other.

The reason they invented coffins, to lock the dead in, preserve them, they put makeup on them; they didn't want them spreading or changing into anything else. The stone with the name and date was on them to weight them down.

Theta crashed next to them on the thick zebra-skin rug. “I’m embalmed.” “Potted and splificated?” “Ossified to the gills. Time for night-night.

If your work is deathwork, one weapon is not enough, just as a plumber would not answer an urgent service call with a single wrench.

A mortician can make a dead man look better than he ever did when he was alive. So churches like Sardis may appear very much alive when they are dead in the sight of the Lord. God knows the difference.

Don't think I'd really want to be a mortician. Wouldn't be getting much back.

Alas, poor Yorick! How surprised he would be to see how his counterpart of today is whisked off to a funeral parlor and is in short order sprayed, sliced, pierced, pickled, trussed, trimmed, creamed, waxed, painted, rouged and neatly dressed - transformed from a common corpse into a Beautiful Memory Picture.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

Nature is honest, we aren't; we embalm our dead.

One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.