Christian Humor Quotes

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT'" -

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.

I think as Christians we have to sponsor a national Lighten-Up Day.

Maybe if I could ever be a successful comedian then I could be an example that Christians can also have fun.

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.

I think God loves to hear little kids laugh at fart jokes. He didn't just make sunsets and bluebirds, He made hot babes. And dirty old men like me. That's the modest message I've set out to tell the world: you don't have to be Ned Flanders to be a Christian.

Christian Deodorant: "Thou Shalt Not Smell"

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Some of the finest comedies have chosen the Church as its subject and would indeed make most Christians laugh, give or take the occasional wince as a barb goes home. I have very fond memories of 'Our Man at St Marks' and long for the day when it is released on DVD but I won't hold my breath.