Hey man, I gotta straighten my face. This mellow thighed chick just put my spine out of place.
People are always backing up when I'm just going to shake their hands.
She pulls away, pats me on the shoulder with three mini-pats, like those used to pet reptiles.
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
A lot of fans that recognize me go, 'I kind of hate you,' and I'm all, 'Cool, well, you've just made this sufficiently awkward.'
Yeah according to my- Hey, are you staring at my chest? -Rose to Adrian
Seeing him like this, dressed just for her in so patent a manner, she could not hold back the fiery blush that rose to her face. She was embarrassed when she greeted him, and he was more embarrassed by her embarrassment. The knowledge that they were behaving as if they were sweethearts was even more embarrassing, and the knowledge that they were both embarrassed embarrassed them so much that Captain Samaritano noticed it with a tremor of compassion.
Finn: I look at you because I can't look away Wendy. Wendy: That's kinda creepy. Finn: I will work on being less creepy then.
Helena Bonham Carter and Jeff Bridges waved at me. And, of course, it would be absurd if they were waving at me, so I just stared at them. I stared at both of them. And they were like, 'Alright, fine.'
Once, after I had just worked out, I hopped on the elevator at the gym only to look up and see Conan O'Brien on it with me. I was so sad. I was all sweaty, but I love him so much, and I couldn't help but nerd out on him.
I always tried not to be too mean, but my problem is that the people I tend to find hilarious don't usually have senses of humor. So interacting with them is a little bit of an awkward engagement, because I can't really make them laugh, on top of which I've been doing an impression of them.
I saw her backstage and said hi, took a picture with her. Tried to get a convo going, but the kid had know idea wut to think!
Oh my God. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right there in line. Your hair smells really good? Your hair smells really good? Who did he think he was? James Bond? You don't tell someone their hair smells good. Not in a mall.
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
Maybe having to pretend to be in love with someone and then jump into bed with them breaks the ice very quickly; friendship follows fast.
Just as I lay back, she sat up. I sat up, and she flopped back down. Awkward. That was my every move when it came to her. Now we were both lying down, staring up at the blue sky.
If ever anyone comes up to me, it's usually like, 'You look really like that guy on that show.' And you're like, 'Really?' And they're like, 'Yeah. Cool. See you later.' And you're like, 'Cool, man.'
Suddenly you're surrounded by strangers who want something from you. The thing is, they don't know what they want, and you don't know what they want, unless it's an autograph, and you just sort of stand there grinning at one another.
I’m not used to girls, or familiar with their customs. I feel awkward around them, I don’t know what to say. I know the unspoken rules of boys, but with girls I sense that I am always on the verge of some unforeseen, calamitous blunder.
It doesn't feel like a date. It doesn't feel like friendship. It feels like something that fell off the tightrope but hasn't yet hit the net.
He looked the boy up and down as if he had never seen a child before and wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with one: eat it, ignore it or kick it down the stairs.
Whitney Houston came in. Someone dared me to do "the Gap act" on her. You know, the Gap act. So I went up to her like I didn't know who she was, and I said, 'Hi, I just wanted to let you know about our sale items and make sure to check out our new colors'. She looked at me like I was crazy.
There are some people I've met and it's stressful just speaking to them, because they're really pretentious and I don't know how to talk to them without being pretentious back.
Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think, if I knew this person they'd be my best friend. Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk.
What torture, this life in society! Often someone is obliging enough to offer me a light, and in order to oblige him I have to fish a cigarette out of my pocket.
