When I went to Nashville, everyone was so nice. Even the TSA agents are nice there.
When I come to the airport, they always send me with all the other Israeli Arabs to the foreign workers' line. I don't mind. I feel like I belong more with all the people from abroad and the foreign workers than in the Israelis' line.
When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
If you never miss a plane, you’re spending too much time at the airport.
I flew to New York to do a commercial back in the day when people could meet you at the gate, and the little agent when I came off the plane said, 'Oh, Miss Carr, we are so happy to have you here.' I went, 'Oh, for goodness sakes.'
Strangely enough, my favorite airport is Logan Airport in Boston - but largely for sentimental reasons. My first real summer job was working as a journeyman for the airport's resident maintenance crew - a small army of union electricians, plumbers, and carpenters.
Coming into Los Angeles, bringing in a couple of keys. Don't touch my bags, if you please Mr. Customs man.
I'm a big hit with guards at security. They're the center of my fan base, the airport security guards.
Wherever I can get a fast track, I'll try to because I can't stand the airport experience. If you can afford priority boarding, then do it. Nobody wants an unpleasant experience before it starts.
I got religion in the airport, my Lord. They caught me waiting on my baggage when I was bored.
When checking in at an airport, no matter how rude the check-in person is to you, always smile and be nice because you don't know what kind of day they've had. You are going on holiday and they're stuck wherever they are. Be nice to them because they can re-route your baggage to wherever they feel like.
I never have more than one bag at a time. I think one is already quite enough. Also, I hate changing bags, so I never have the thing of having ten bags. Any bag that's with me will take the same course as I will. It will take the same airplanes and will be squashed in the same way and will be used as a cushion in the airports.
I found myself in Zurich Airport. I'd done a TV show, oddly enough, with Mavis Staples. That's the way they do it in Switzerland. And I'd had a bit of a late night with members of her band. And I was - my flight was delayed. And I was sitting in the airport, and I just came up with the idea. And by the time, we landed at Heathrow, I'd pretty much sort of got it.
Yeah, I'm walking through the airport, I'm walking through the street, I'm driving in my car, people just start screaming at me - 'YEEEAAAHHH!'
When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I’m instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter’s declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon. It’s a typewriter,’ I say. ‘You use it to write angry letters to airport security.
Airports in major cities, like LAX, are trippy environments. It is at once a national and international gathering of those in transition: The euphoric, emerging from planes, their journey at an end, and the determined, about to depart.
I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.
Oh my God, Kennedy Airport - what a mess - all over you with those dopey security questions. 'Did you receive any gifts from any unknown persons?' Buddy, the last thing I got from an unknown person was in the 80's.
I recently passed through Mumbai airport. I cannot claim it was a pleasant experience. But if I had a choice between Mumbai airport and Euston on a Sunday afternoon, I'd take Mumbai any day.
Imagine if every airport would blast Brian Eno. I bet going through security wouldn't be as difficult. I can't imagine someone being aggressive with me with Brian Eno music pumping through the terminals at LAX.
My life hasn't changed that much. Sure, people recognize me, and airports can get tough, but the people who stop me tend to be real nice.
To tell you the truth, man, we spend most of the time travelling in hotels, in festivals, in concert halls, clubs, airports. The most unenjoyable part is all the security at airports.
I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport.
I enjoy popping in to World Duty Free at the airport and trying out perfumes - I can never resist a new scent.
I don't know how others think about me, but if I have to walk the streets, I will, and if I need to stand in a queue at the airport, that's OK.
