Joan Rivers Quotes

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

As time goes by and you're getting older and stuff like that - getting older sucks. You know, I hear all this crap about, 'Oh, you can age with dignity.' Really?

I'm a lot older than I was when I was 30, which is kind of hard to believe.

When I see friends from school I think they've all grown old and I've stayed the same.

Oh, my God, my thirties blew! Forties are great.

I always did think that when I turned 40, I'd start coming into my own.

You can't be 16 forever.

There are three periods in life: youth, middle age and 'how well you look'.

I was 24 yesterday. Suddenly you wake up, and you get on the elevator, and there's a mirror there. And you look in the mirror, and you're an old man.

Age, what is it? It's not a figure that has ever meant anything to me.

Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age.

One of the shocks of a 50th birthday is realizing the fundamental fact that your youth is irrevocably over.

I was 22, and 40 was old. To be 40 again!

When I was younger, I thought once I hit 25, I'd slow down. Nope!

One of the reasons for me that there's no 'Spaced 3' is that I don't think you can pretend to be 26 for ever.

We always think that we're going to be young forever, and now when I wake up, I need to stretch, and I need to have my glass of water and be cognizant of what I'm doing with my body.

Time makes you bolder, children get older. I'm getting older, too.

Somehow, I went from being too young, to being too old. Somewhere in there I must have been just right.

Sometimes it seems as though not a moment has moved, but then you look up and you're already old or you already have a household of kids or you look down and see your feet are miles and miles away from the rest of you—and you realize you've grown up.

Growing old-it's not nice, but it's interesting.

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.

I'm over 30 now, but I didn't expect to be here.