Kelley Armstrong Quotes

There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life.

He's no more human than I am, ma petite." At least I'm not dead." That can be remedied.

The mortician interviewing the corpses

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.'

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die.

I love animals and they're very easy to look after when they're dead.

He would make a lovely corpse.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.

Remember kids, I have life insurance.

Any film which views the darker side of life, which is death with a sense of humor, is very much to my taste.

The key to gallows humor is to make the joke, no matter how certain the gallows is.

For me, Halloween is year-round. But my Halloween is the real Halloween - dealing with the real dead.

Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living?" "I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet?" "I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.

Estragon: What about hanging ourselves? Vladimir: Hmm. It'd give us an erection.

Anything dead coming back to life hurts.

Things die. But they don't always stay dead. Believe me, I know.

When I die, I want to be cremated with everybody.

I said earlier that dead things don't always stay dead. Well, I'm one of them. don't worry - I'm not like the Strigoi. But I did die once (I don't recommend it).

That afternoon my mother had brought me the roses. "Save them for my funeral," I'd said.

Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

If 180 million people want to be undead, that’s their funeral, but I happen to like being alive.