Dave Barry Quotes

If you feel comfortable by shaving your body, then shave your body. I feel comfortable keeping my body ready by shaving. I don't think it's unmanly to shave; I think that if you can get past that, you're fine.

Good God,” I whispered, sitting on the van’s cot and looking at my legs, horrified. They were hairy—not wolf hairy, but an I-couldn’t-find-my-razor-the-last-six-months hairy. Utterly grossed out, I took a peek at my armpit, jerking away. Oh, that’s just…nasty.

I'm not that involved in personal grooming. But I try not to be offensive to people.

I haven't shaved my private parts, but I dyed them once for a laugh! They looked more ginger, though!

I have to shave every day. If I don't, it's sort of like going to bed without brushing your teeth for me - but I'm a crazy person so maybe that's why.

Let me tell you, 'The Reader' was not glamorous for me in terms of the body-hair maintenance.

Give a man a chance, and he'll be so casual that he won't bathe, shave, or comb his hair. He'll just depend on his animal magnetism to get him by.

Call me old-fashioned, but armpit hair is not high up there on my wish list of things to have.

Make sure that when you're going out, you wear socks, because I've been seeing some people coming out with no socks and that. You know, your toes looking like Cheetos. We don't need all of that.

Wear that cologne, shave your face, shave your head, cut your nails, you know...take care of yourself.

Having a beard is natural. When you think about it, shaving it off is quite weird.

One of these days you're going to wake up," William finally said, "and I will have shaved you, Everywhere." (Paris) "Won't make a difference. Women will still want me.

It was so ridiculous. We were just sitting there, thinking about how ridiculous it was because we literally had stray hairs on us. The camera couldn't pick up all the details, but we had some crazy things. We had huge slabs of fat on us and bits of nails and hair. It was disgusting. But, there's also the beautiful parts of it.

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

I really started getting my body ready when I was a freshman in high school. I had just been skating so much, and just started getting so annoyed with leg hair and arm hair, because I was falling so much when I was learning. So I would get scabs on my legs, and the hair would get caught in it. It just became a nuisance. And from that point on, I continued to shave my arms and legs and tried to stay sleek.

You don't bite the women of other males.

A beardless cynic is the shame of nature.

I don't think of those things [from farting, to male on male affection, to crossdressing] as being taboo, I suppose, so it didn't strike me as, "Oh, I'm breaking boundaries and stuff..."

The contempt of money is no more a virtue than to wash one's hand is one; but one does not willingly shake hands with a man that never washes his.

Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!

No matter what your sexual preference or gender, no one likes a man who is fussy about his looks. You can spend as much time as you want looking good. But don't do it in public.

Safety razors make it hard to grow beards in America: America would be a better place if there were a few bearded, savage, terrible old men.

Madrigal sniffed herself. "I'm almost sure I don't smell." "Maybe not, but between shining cleanliness and not smelling, there is a vast gray area.

Nothing is so disgusting to our sex as want of cleanliness and delicacy in yours.