Will Rogers Quotes

[Suggesting an epitaph for herself:] This is on me.

I often thought my gravestone would say, 'Here lies Gandalf. He came out,'

My epitaph? My epitaph will be, 'Curiosity did not kill this cat'.

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone.

Lest when I am gone you may be at a loss for an epitaph for me, let me give you one - He Fed Fevers.

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'

Once someone asked me, "What do you want to be your epitaph?" So I said, "Paulo Coelho died when he was alive.

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like."

My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.'

'Curiosity never killed this cat’ — that’s what I’d like as my epitaph.

One puts off the biography like you put off death. To write an autobiography is to etch the words on your own gravestone.

Write 'judge of beautiful women' on my tombstone. I'd be quite happy.

When I've been asked what should be on my gravestone, I've said: 'Here lies Gandalf. He came out.' Two big achievements.

I know what I'm having 'em put on my tombstone: 'I have nothing more to say'.

The day after Paul Newman was dead, he was twice as dead.

...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this: "He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.

Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not by fang, but Ferragamos.

How do people choose their final words? Do they realize their gravity? Are they fated to be wise?

I picture my epitaph: 'Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown.

[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.

A distinguished man should be as particular about his last words as he is about his last breath. He should write them out on a slip of paper and take the judgment of his friends on them. He should never leave such a thing to the last hour of his life, and trust to an intellectual spurt at the last moment to enable him to say something smart with his latest gasp and launch into eternity with grandeur.

Well, right now I'm not dead. But when I am, it's like...I don't know, I guess it's like being inside a book that nobody's reading. [...] An old one. It's up on a library shelf, so you're safe and everything, but the book hasn't been checked out for a long, long time. All you can do is wait. Just hope somebody'll pick it up and start reading.

Last words are only words.

As I'm lying there at my funeral I would hope to hear somebody say, “Look, he's still moving!